Locked Doors

My family has lived in our current house for about a year and a half. The house came with exterior locks on our interior doors. My kids have locked their door many times, and I have a key that opens it.

Today was the day my 2-year-old decided it was time to lock me out of my room. It has been frustrating and futile attempting to open it with various picking devices – bobby pins, screwdrivers, snappy barrettes, all of the keys I own.

The locked door has been on my mind all day, even when I have tried to put it aside and just “worry about it later.”

This problem would be non-existent if I possessed the correct key.

If only I possessed the right key! The door would open and I would have access to what I need. I would have some of my basic needs met like rest and clean clothes. I would also be able to free my cat from captivity.

But none of my attempts to open the door have succeeded.

My life itself seems to have so many locked doors that I do not possess keys for – untapped potential.

The locks have become stripped and unusable due to my barbaric attempts to force them to open.

I have ruined my chances of entering those places with all of my striving to do things my way with all the wrong tools and keys.

I know the keeper of the keys. He has all the right tools for me to go where I need to go and His grace can open doors quickly with ease and freedom.

So why do I keep hacking away in my own self-sufficiency? I really don’t know!

My ways are full of striving and frustration and yearning. Eventually, I may break the door down and get to where I want to go, but so much time and energy has been wasted, and I find so much disappointment on the other side. Most broken down doors, lead me to places God never intended for me to go.

Then I move onto another lock and start again twisting metal.

God’s plan is for me to seek the door He gives me the key for and to find beyond it peace and rest, but instead, I find a locked door that I am quite sure has what I need beyond it and open it in my own strength.

I want so badly for God to open more doors in my life, but my flesh keeps taking over, leading me to more locked doors that I slam myself into relentlessly.

How do I reconcile this? How can habits be changed and more doors open to me?

I know the way. However, doing it is more difficult. Jesus says the greatest of the commandments is to Love Him and to Love Others. Everything else follows those. (see Matthew 22:36-40 in the photo below).

In the case of my bedroom door being locked, I know God could miraculously open it. The more likely thing that will happen is that my husband will have the key or my Grandparents. God uses people to help us in our lives.

I honestly think I have even more trouble with letting other people help me than God. I pray and pray for miracles, when people around me are holding out the keys to me and I am denying their help. (Just a quick side note: If I had listened to my Grandparent’s advice when we moved in and had changed the locks then, this would have never happened in the first place!)

God help me!

Thank you for blessing me with this locked door in my home. It has unlocked doors to deeper thought in my mind and spirit. Open me up, Lord. Help me to deny my flesh and walk away from all of my futile striving and doors that are never meant to be opened. I want to enter into the Holy of Holies. I want to go deeper into Your Love and into the life you have mapped out for me…

UPDATE:

Literally less than 5 minutes after I finished this post, my husband came open for lunch and was able to pry the door open with ease.

My hero!

Thank You God for sending him to my rescue – and my cat’s.

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Stephaney - Me Flying Free

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