You will Never get Fully Clean in Your Old Machine

I have learned that sometimes it is better to pay the full price and get new.

Buying a new washer & dryer taught me that sometimes paying full price is worth the cost.

Jesus paid full price to make us clean, and we are new creations in Him….

Here is the story of how I learned this:

When we moved into our house three years ago, we decided to get a different washer/dryer set. The ones we had at our old place were bought used and were terrible. The dryer used to catch items and burn holes in them. Yikes! Honestly, I had forgotten all about this until I was editing this post and looking for photos to use. I had forgotten the pain of that old set because the set I am talking about here was worse… if that is possible.

Annnnnyyyywaaaayyyysss….

When we moved into this house, I was ecstatic to find a fantastic front loading washer dryer set on our local yard sale site.

They looked B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! They had the pedestals and everything was supposed to be in working order. So happy!

I Got 99 Problems:

The new-washer-dryer-honeymoon happiness soon faded and turned into utter dread when every time I tried to dry my clothes the sensor in the dryer set off an alarm. I cleaned out lint with a lint lizard and then it worked a bit better, but soon after that it started to overheat. Then no heating was happening! After much research, I found out I could take the back panel off and pop the breaker, and it would re-set.

For about a year, every time I would use the dryer, I would have to set an alarm on my microwave for 15 minutes, and I would need to check the dryer repeatedly throughout the entire cycle to make sure it would not overheat. If it overheated, I would have to pull out everything in my laundry room and squish myself behind the dryer to remove the panel, once again, and reset the breaker. I was doing this about once a month, and it was my nightmare. I was so worried that the thing might burn my house down.

(They have been sitting in my carport all winter. Hoping they find their way to the dump soon… Preferably this week. 🙂

Then, it all came to a head. God spoke and said, “It is finished.”

Here’s my account of the day my relationship with these evil machines died:

Do you every wake up and just want to start crying? Today has been one of those days for me.

I woke up struggling to breathe well. I’ve been struggling for a while with this (see my post where I talk about my struggle with Lyme Disease), and it has been worse the last couple of weeks. Anyways, another day of gasping and feeling tired was just about more than I could take.

My morning consisted of most of the normal things I do, but today I did none of them well. Most days I don’t honestly. I am struggling.

I did, however, exhibit a lot of patience with my kids while we did school work today so that’s a plus. During school time, however, a friend that lives nearby asked if I would be home so she could return a stroller she had borrowed. I panicked, thinking, I’m in my pajamas, my hair is greasy, and I stink. Ehhh. Anyway, I basically told her in not so many words that I didn’t want to see her. Sorry friend.

I felt terrible acting like an anti-social depressed shut-in. That was “it.” I decided that I needed to take a break and take an epsom salt bath. Maybe this would be the re-set I needed to feel better about the day.

Bad Day Gets Worse:

As soon as I got in, I heard a loud alarm going off. Like a constant beeping. I yelled for my daughter to open the dryer thinking it was overheating again. The dryer is the devil and has been terrorizing me for months, well no, since we moved in and bought it – 3 years now. Well, surprise surprise it was not the dryer. I got out of the tub and my washer was freaking out. I started switching breakers to shut the dang thing off. That was the only way to get it to stop. I couldn’t even get the door to open. It was one of those things where you know you can’t really fix it.

I just rolled my eyes and decided to get back in the bath. I cannot bring myself to spend anymore time on these idiotic machines. They are a “fancy” brand that no one around here knows how to fix. I am done and apparently they are “done” with me. I can’t take this! Now, I am just wondering how to get the clothing out of it and what to do to get a different washer/dryer. Another problem. Another thing that costs money.

Story of my life! Anyways, as I was sitting in the tub trying to reset, I thought about my life and how frustrated I am. As I laid there next to a trash can filled with stinky pee pull-ups, I asked God, “why?” a lot. Why am I not healed? Why can’t things, in general, just go more smoothly? Why? Why? Why?

What is He trying to show me?

We learned at church this week that “all things work together for good to them that love God.” How is any good coming from this?

I started to think about my constant struggle with laundry and how I can never manage to get my clothes clean. The process is never easy, and even when the clothes are “clean” they often stink from the mold growing in the washer. Ick.

Just like my actual washer, I think my my internal “washing machine,”is also broken. The thing inside me that is good at trying to make it all pretty and as clean as I can possibly is caput. I feel like I’ve got moldy thoughts growing in my mind, and they stink. Those moldy thoughts are contaminating everything coming out in my life. I wrote about this in a previous post here.

God’s word says that I am His Child. Thinking on the story of the prodigal son, I wonder if, after the son was clothed in his father’s best robe whether he ever still felt the muck of the pig pen upon him. Was he really able to forget the past completely and walk forward in righteousness, fully accepting his father’s mercy?

I started thinking about God clothing me in white. It’s almost as if I tell Him, “no, don’t put that on. I’ll just get dirty again.” Or maybe, I have been wearing that white robe and staining it up and trying to wash wash wash it up before I face my Father again, but it still stinks like mold. I’m not sure if I fear that I will return to my old ways or if I wonder if I never really left them…

My robe never quite gets completely clean. God wants to continue giving me good things and clothing me in His righteousness, but it is more than I deserve. I don’t know how to fully accept or how to feel like I am not greasy and stinky. I need the Maker to make me new not better. I am tired of striving for better. Even my best is not enough. My washing machine is broken. I am tired of trying to look clean.

So what now? Surprise, good has come out of this:

Since all of this happened, my husband and I have gotten extra financing on a loan and have purchased a new washer and dryer!

I am totally in love! No more laundry nightmares.

As I said before, sometimes it is better to pay the full price and get new. My new washer and dryer have changed the way I feel about laundry. There is no fear or dread associated with this task any longer. It is simple and rewarding. There is no more stink!

In regards to my spiritual revelations, here’s a great one: Jesus has paid full price. He wants to make US new. He wants our lives to be without fear and dread and  simple and rewarding. He wants us to radiate with His light. We have to give ourselves, our pasts, our thoughts, everything to Him! We don’t have to worry about trying to make our robe white, we just need to stay with Him. He will take care of that. We just need to always keep coming home. Give up on trying to make yourself holy and perfect. It will never be enough.

You will never get fully clean in your old machine.

and you may end up burning your own house down if you know what I mean.

Hope you you’re pickin’ up what I’m throwing down.

Love and Blessings,

P.S. Laundry Room Re-do coming soon. Can’t wait to show off my new machines and re-done space. 🙂

 

 

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